Things have a way of working out

•March 9, 2009 • 2 Comments

Very rarely in my life, things have fallen into place, like a whole jigsaw thrown up into air, and a certain piece falling exactly into place with another. I read about it in Mulk Raj Anand’s book with the same name – Things have a way of working out, and now it all makes sense to me.

But some things have a way of wotking out *chuckle*

My friend and I used to discuss random things. And he happened to say that he liked women in olive green saris. And I kept wondering why. And then I recently figured something out that made me go like – Oh! That’s why…. Some broken hearts can never mend.

I kept whining about everything in life. And now I have finally decided to take up art of living course. I am hoping to attend it this Friday. I have never had faith in godmen. I have always declared that all philosophy and self help is stuff you already knew by instinct. But then… sometimes maybe a refresher course isn’t a bad idea for someone who has lost life’s lulling illusions – illusions of humans, illusions of all that you can’t take and illusions of all that you take with you.

God does make a fantastic suspense novel doesn’t he?

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Life is a box of chocolates? Who are you, Willie Wonka??

•March 5, 2009 • 3 Comments

I have become such a stranger to social networking websites. I haven’t checked my orkut and FB profile in ages. The browser refuses to acknowledge me.

I used to love making friends. Well, I used to be stupid too.

And then you meet people who are suspicious of you, and you are suspicious of people and everyday becomes a fight. When you step out onto the streets  you are fighting the traffic and idiots who can’t drive a car. In office, you are fighting to keep your job and keep up to the expectation. At home, you are fighting because everything and everybody is too familiar.

So when do you stop fighting? Sorry to sound morbid, but that happens only when you die.

And we try to run away from the obvious. You try to fall in love. As someone said: Life is a bitch. It’s only Love and Antiquity that makes it bearable.

And during all this I was slapped in my face by an epiphany: My role in life is to help people move on. People whose hearts have been crushed. Just call me Sweet January.

I am not meant to fall in love. I have failed at every try. Instead, I was meant to help others find it. Help others heal when they are crushed by love and given up.

Socio – path?

•March 1, 2009 • 1 Comment

I have decided to turn non-social. I seem to prefer solitary confinement these days.

As  Niles says in one of the episodes of Frasier:

Frasier: By the way, where’s Maris? I haven’t seen her all night.
Niles: She’s on your bed.
Frasier: My bed?
Niles: Yes, she’s asleep under the guests’ coats. She exhausts easily under the pressure to be interesting.

I think I make a lesser fool of myself when I don’t interact with people. I think interacting with people makes me feel foolish! Also human beings don’t interest me any more.

I never understood what the fuss was about when people spoke about movies like Instinct or Born free. Now I do. I am actually tired of all human beings. Maybe the only perfection you find is in God. But he can’t understood. Not by human mind. Thus he’s not perfect too.

So far I have found perfection in only one thing – Babies. They are so perfect. Never mind they poop a lot and cry a lot. But…they aren’t very unpredictable. There is a limited combination of behaviors that babies can have….unless they are possessed, of course.

So that’s it. I have renounced my social life! I feel damn good about myself when I am with myself.

On a very different, non psycho/whiny note:

Here’s wishing Gaurav Vaz and his new band Allegro Fudge the very best on their debut gig. The debut gig is at Opus, Bangalore from 2 – 4 pm,  Sunday,  1st March.   

HR? I have one word for you – Meh!

•February 24, 2009 • 2 Comments

I just interacted with one of the hare brained HR managers and I must say one joke came to my mind:

What’s the difference between God and a HR manager?

God doesn’t think he’s an HR manager!

Some more fun HR jokes:

Balloon debate

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied: “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are 51º21,32.87 degrees north latitude and 0º21,32.87 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an IT specialist,” said the balloonist.

” I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The woman below responded: “You must be in HR.”

“I am, “replied the balloonist. “But how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

Transylvanian transaction

Q. If you had a gun with 2 silver bullets, a vampire, a werewolf and an HR manager, who would you shoot?

A. The HR manager twice; just to be sure.

Tea Cup

HR manager to interviewee: “Can you make a good cup of tea?”

Interviewee: “Oh yes. I make a very tasty cup of tea.”

HR Manager: “Can you drive a fork lift truck?”

Interviewee: “Bloody hell! How big’s the tea pot?

I got them all here

Life’s dues

•February 21, 2009 • 1 Comment

I think our lives are a long and sustained debt. It’s like we pay monthly lifelong installments for just existing!

Lately, the thing that seems to be one of the stressors (apart from work) in my life seems to be my bills. I now, of course,  refuse to look at my card statements. Heart attacks and Cardiac arrests kill young women too.

Its all so reminiscent of my school days. I hated getting my papers. Did I pass in Hindi and Math? Did I get at least one of the top ten marks in English, Chem and History? It was so scary.

Now when I get bills (esp my phone bill) I go – did I get billed more than a 1000 bucks? I have used the USB modem for more than 40 hrs? Will I have enough funds to pay my internet bills? What about my student loan?

Who said it was easy being 25? 😉

Veil

•February 20, 2009 • 4 Comments

I heard something last evening I didn’t like. I would have loved to crawl under the blanket and cry, but I won’t.

I would have loved to let Vodka help me through this but I have been dry and sober past 24 hrs.

And then this morning as I sat in class I thought to myself, WTF! Why should some bastard talking ill about me affect me so much? I have my goals in place.

Sure my personal life is in shambles and I haven’t spoken to even one friend for more 15 mins continuously in the past two months. I haven’t attended two of my best friends’ weddings because well..I had no motivation to. I have been short with everyone, I actually got mean with one of my friends last evening. I have turned into a workaholic.

And I have learned that my fear of failure is ruining me. My fear of my critics being right is another.

But know what? I might fail in what I am attempting. I am after all a 5 ft tall person trying to jump an 8ft high wall.  And all my ghosts and demons are chasing me.

But I am now gonna attempt turning around and facing them. So God help me.

Ode to a Twist

•February 19, 2009 • Leave a Comment

So I have been asked to use blogging as a way of therapy. Been feeling restless and wanted to smoke a cut. Or a vodka on rocks.

So I decided to write my version of “Light my Fire”.

It’s called Ode to a twist.

You know that it would be cool
You know that I would be a fool
If I didn’t know how to feel it
Boy, we couldn’t get much more fun
Come on baby, light my cut
Come on baby, light my cut
Lets set the night free

The time to hesitate is through
No time to get stuck in emotions
Try now we can only get up there
And our smoke became our love
Come on baby, light my cut
Come on baby, light my cut
Lets the night free, yeah