Veil

I heard something last evening I didn’t like. I would have loved to crawl under the blanket and cry, but I won’t.

I would have loved to let Vodka help me through this but I have been dry and sober past 24 hrs.

And then this morning as I sat in class I thought to myself, WTF! Why should some bastard talking ill about me affect me so much? I have my goals in place.

Sure my personal life is in shambles and I haven’t spoken to even one friend for more 15 mins continuously in the past two months. I haven’t attended two of my best friends’ weddings because well..I had no motivation to. I have been short with everyone, I actually got mean with one of my friends last evening. I have turned into a workaholic.

And I have learned that my fear of failure is ruining me. My fear of my critics being right is another.

But know what? I might fail in what I am attempting. I am after all a 5 ft tall person trying to jump an 8ft high wall.  And all my ghosts and demons are chasing me.

But I am now gonna attempt turning around and facing them. So God help me.

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~ by tia on February 20, 2009.

4 Responses to “Veil”

  1. what you want is distraction. You are going over and over, over the same things or sequence of events 🙂
    For first,
    http://www.indiblogger.in/bloggermeet.php?id=26
    interested? 😀

  2. u’ll do better than u think u can 🙂 just believe in urself..

  3. face them – and crush them… go girl 🙂

  4. *Sandeep
    Very! Sounds good. Will try to make it. Thanks for your invite!

    *Saphire
    Thanks girl. Your confidence really means a lot to me.

    *Anoop
    Thanks Anoop…btw are you calling me fat?? (read: crush them)heh heh…

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