Somebody, take control of the mothership!

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion’s gone away
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces every time
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

– Daniel Potwer, Bad day

Hi I am Tia and I am a auto-pilot-holic.
I have been on Autopilot since last week. I couldn’t even respond with the appropriate smile and excitement when I won some award in the office (which I won btw because everybody else in the team had won something or the other. I believe I bullied my boss into nominating me for it! I am trying so hard to hate my boss and I just can’t do it. I think its the maternal instincts that kick in when I see her. Or the fact that she sometimes actually cares. And that’s what scares me. I mean I can rip apart a person if I really wanted to (But I really need to hate you for that), but now-a-days even that doesn’t excite me anymore).
Today I couldn’t eat. I am just not interested in anything. Little things that used to excite me before are a strain to me now. I mean today my friend was showing me some trip pictures and it was such a strain for me to sit through it – my mind just wasn’t on it. Don’t mistake me, I love her (Oh god, not in a lesbian way, but like a sister, a best friend, etc) and everything..but my mind is just lost.
I just wish I’d go completely crazy, so that I don’t have to feel anything.I mean I am too strong to go crazy, yet circumstances crush me.

(Oh yeah it’s a depressing post, so jump off the building cos I ain’t writing for you.)

And I seem to have a lot of rage in me. I mean, I am turning into St.Anger. I actually have this cheeky smile on my face because I am imagining decapitating the person. For example, there is this ass in our extended team who, for anything I ask (I have to bcos my boss has instructed me to) makes a big fuss because he believes he’s a celebrity being hunted by the paparazzi.
Here’s a tip Mr. I-have-too-much-work-which-is-why-I-am-never-at-my-seat-but-smoking-in-the-parking-lot: get over it.
He actually reminds me of Harsh Chhaya’s character in Fashion.

I just wanna squeeze his head till he stops squealing.

These are the people I wanna enlist for one tight slap:
1. People who look over my shoulder into my laptop screen
2. People who aren’t humble
3. People who piss me off

I am in the line of fire for something I was only partially responsible. But I have realized – the boss is always right, which means I will be the bakra. So I am gonna get my ass kicked tomorrow. Oh joy! this is the moment I have been waiting for ever since I was born…

I hate the corporate world. It’s an ass eat ass world. But I have no turning back – I have sold my soul already.

And i’m still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
’cause i can’t hold on to anything this good enough.
Am i good enough for you to love me too?

– Evanescence, Good enough

Know whats funny about human resources? They are the most inhuman!
And Marketing? We are downright bitches.
Process and QA? Sticklers.
Developers? They can’t see beyond what is front of them!! And they are supposed to be creating road maps!!


Disclaimer: No bosses or colleagues egos were hurt during the composing of the post. The characters in this post are non-fictitious. Any resemblence to real persons, breathing or non-breathing is purely coincidental.


~ by tia on December 16, 2008.

3 Responses to “Somebody, take control of the mothership!”

  1. I guess it is exactly the opposite. You need to be really strong to be crazy. šŸ™‚

  2. *Nikhil
    That’s also true..I have worked and seen some of the mentally disturbed people and I realize..their world is so scary and comfortable. Like we used to say in Clinical Psychology – Abnormality is just a few degrees away from normal.

  3. Hmmm 2 out of 3 qualities for that hate list isn’t looking good for me, šŸ˜€

    You won employee of the month? AWWWWWWWWW Sushie being appreciated at work. No wonder you’re not motivated, you have gotten lazy because you reached the top, lol.

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