Dilemma

“I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?”
– Celine, Before Sunset

Everyman has two faces. We are like janus..or even the Gemini twins in one.

I know for sure most women especially most capricorn women will agree with me on the following –

Here are the contradictions a women of the urban, Indian woman, 24, independent, immature, ambitious:

– To be independent, emotionally and physically, yet crave for a witness in your life…crave safety.

– To sometimes not act your age, yet pretend to be tough.

– To say you don’t want to get married, yet you are toying with the idea (Maybe..I don’t know…let’s see…maybe if the right guy comes along).

– After every relationship breaks up you tell yourself that this is the last time you will give your heart away..and you break your promise. Because you want to.

– You hate believeing in stupid fairy tales of princes and pumpkins, but somewhere in your heart you do…

– You love being a rebel…because you crave acceptance on your own terms.

– You wanna do something that you are passionate about, but you know there are other factors to consider: family, finances, etc.

Céline: Okay. I was really disappointed. I thought this one would last for a while. I mean he was very stupid, ugly, bad in bed, alcoholic, you know.

Jesse: Real prize-winner.

Céline: Yeah. (laughs) I was kind of giving him a favor, but he left me, saying I loved him too much, and, you know, I was blocking his artistic expression, or some shit like that, you know. But anyway, I was traumatized, and became and became totally obsessed with him. And so I went to see this shrink, you know, and it came out that I had written this little stupid story about this woman, trying to kill her boyfriend, and how she was gonna do it, you know, with all the intricate details, of, you know, how to do it, and not get caught, and…

Jesse: She was gonna kill her boyfriend?

Céline: Yeah. Yeah, she was. I mean, it’s nothing I would do, but it was just some writing, you know.

Jesse: Alright, no, no, I understand.

Céline: But anyway, this stupid shrink believed everything I was telling her, and it was my first time seeing her. She said
she had to call the police.

Jesse: She had to call the police?

Céline: Yeah. She was, merde! she was totally convinced I was really gonna do it. you know, even though I’d explained to her it was just some writing, you know. She said, looking deep into my eyes, “The way you said it, I know you are going to do it, the way you said it.” She was totally out of her mind. It was my first and last session.

Jesse: Yeah, so what happened then?

Céline: I totally got over him, you know. But now I’m obsessed that he’s gonna die from an accident, or, you know, 1000 kms away, I’m gonna be the one accused. Why do you become obsessed with people you don’t really like that much, you know, I mean.

Jesse: I don’t know.

– Before Sunrise

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~ by tia on November 9, 2008.

6 Responses to “Dilemma”

  1. I watched this movie and loved it. Very simple , uncomplicated, yet an intense relationship.

    Could totally relate to this post, its a reflection of my thoughts. In other words, Quarter Life Crisis – Welcome to this part of the world. 😛

  2. AGAIN ABOUT MEN!!!

    Do you actually think of anything else OTHER than MEN? Do you watch movies for the fun of watching a movie, and not disecting the relationship between some girl and guy in it? Do you listen to music without translating those words into some relationship you had?

    Anything, and Everything about men.

    Its kinda like an obsession with you now. Don’t you or your friends talk about anything else?

    I know men is in your last name and all, but SHEEEESH girl, time to get some hobbies. 😀

  3. *Sam
    I believe I was dragging my feet as I was approaching that part of the world!!

    *Blah
    Honey do you want me to become a lesbian??

  4. You want me to answer? 😀

  5. Does your opinion really matter? [:D]

  6. *Sam
    I agree! 😉

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