My good name is Tia

I got this forward on ABC of Bengalis…and a narcissist that i am my eye caught my name in the fwd…..

G is for Good name.  Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a  pet name like

Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali  girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, et  cetera.

Hey im not a bong…in fact im a mal (dont groan!)… But yet my name is Tia….

This is the whole forward, enjoy!

The ABC Of  Bengalis

Kee haanshlum! Enjoy!


A
is  for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and  spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the ‘Vest  Bengal Gawrment’ he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have  a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1,  smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down  at 4 and go home at 4:30. It’s a hard life!


B
is for Bhision.  For some reason many Bengalis don’t have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata  most people are wearing spectacles all the time.



C
is for Chappell.  Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of  evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, ‘Na ghumaley  Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.’



D
is for Debashish  or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali  Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and  trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations  like Debopriyo, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.  



E
is for Eeesh.  This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in  the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a  Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year.  ‘Ei Morechhey’ is a close second to Eeesh.



F
is for Feeesh.  These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food  of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong  smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he  will say ‘eeesh what feeesh is theesh!’



G
is for Good name.  Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a  pet name like

Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali  girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, et  cetera.




H
is for Harmonium.  This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a  Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!



I
is for lleesh.  This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would  kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with  releeesh!



J
is for Jhola. No  selfrespecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless  cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an  amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are  two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and they all look exactly  the same! Note that ‘Jhol’ as in Maachher Jhol is a close second.  



K
is for Kee Kaando  !. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over  because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando’s agent is trying to  hire Bipasha Basu).



L
is for Lungi, the  dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and  cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to  the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt  Everest.



M
is for Minibus.  These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the  living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1  race car drivers.



N
is for Nangto.  This is the Bengali word for  Naked. It is the  most interesting naked word in any language!



O
is for Oil. The  Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold  (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the  throat) to piles (oil you know where!).



P
is for Phootball.  This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is  born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there  are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a  stop.



Q
is for Queen.  This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it’s the  only Q word I could think of at this moment. There’s also Quilt but  they never use them in Kolkata.



R
is for  Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has  given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame  their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the  great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the  birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course  ‘all non-Bengawlees’! Note that ‘Rawshogolla’ comes a close second !  



S
is for  Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain,  Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years  old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by  doing a little bit of ‘jawggo’ and ‘maanot’.



T
is for Trams.  Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are  in a hurry it’s faster to walk.



U
is for Aambrela.  When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.



V
is for  Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When  an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream  and curse and abuse, “Chherey De Bolchhi” but the last time someone  actually hit someone was in 1979.



W
is for Water. For  three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last  200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!  



X
is for X’mas.  It’s very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis  agreeing that they must eat cake that day.



Y
is for  Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for  Robi Thakur).



Z
is for Jebra,  Joo, Jipper and  Jylophone.
 

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~ by tia on March 21, 2007.

6 Responses to “My good name is Tia”

  1. Hahaha nice, figures someone else wrote it, hahahahahaha

    But I remember Eeeeeesh, although I tend to remember a lot of things about Aish, 😀

    Where exactly is Bengal? Calcutta is in Bengal right?

  2. makes me wish i knew atleast one bengali personally to b able to make comparisons..and the lungi and feeesh part can also b said about most mals.. 😉

  3. *blah
    yeah like new york is IN new york…like that vonly.. 😛

    *Di
    eet ees feeshe moolly vokay??hee hee

  4. ROTFLMAO….
    You got any comments from a Bong yet?
    Ha ha, I believe there are such lists for every Ethnic group in India. Had read them somewhere earlier.

    -PeAcE
    –WiTh
    —GuNs

  5. *Guns
    oh yeah i have read those…but these wer a seperate fwd i got 🙂
    hee hee most bongs took it nicely…they r quite the sports…

  6. g8 but from where, i will say later and yes if u want

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