What do i do?

Two questions that are painfully etched in my mind:

1.Is it better to be in a certain place or situation by circumstance or by choice?

2.What do you do when you r so helpless in a situation that u wanna jus scream?

Let me explain:

1.When  u r in a certain position by choice you can say – ‘hey i made this choice’. But it could also would make you wonder what the other options were like and what if u had chosen anyone of em instead of this one.

When u r in a certian situation by circumstance, you know you tried all other options and landed up ther. But you cant tell people you are ther because you chose to b ther; you made a decision not fate.

So which one is better?

2. See my bro goes about spending big time for all our bdays, and he has a loan for which the EMI  is high. And today wen he  spent ten grand buyin mum wat she liked, i jus felt so helpless that i couldn step up and tell him – hey don worry i am carryin cash too. If it goes over budget ill cover it.’  No i dont want the kick of showing i have money, but i want the kick of reassuring him that ill b ther in case hes in trouble.

I felt so helpless i wanted to scream. I tried so hard for an MBA so that i could help my bro out but was unsuccessful.

Is it fair that he is working is backside off trying to buy us everything we want while i get the luxury to study something that wont get me a huge salary (therefore cant contribute to the family) but is something that im studying because i like most of the subjects im studying?

Trust me its a luxury to study a subject u like or pursue a career where the salary is not high, but is pursued because u love it so much. Too many people dont get that luxury.

After a lot logical and rational thot i asked myself wat do i do? I hav to wait atleast a year more before i get a job…and is it fate that im here, in this position?


~ by tia on February 7, 2007.

6 Responses to “What do i do?”

  1. trust me, your brother would want it no other way. ask him if you will or point his way conveniently to this post. the only thing he’ll want for you to do is what you’re already doing. be good at it, stay happy and he’ll be happy too. he’s doing what he is cos he wants you and your folks to be happy. be proud of him, but do make sure he knows that. tell him. a sister’s joy : that’s all it takes to make a brother happy. now if you want to agonise and be miserable, go right ahead. but don’t. but trust me, i know. i’m a brother too.

  2. heres a big of old-wisdom…actually not so old but wat my dad might say if i posed it to him…
    This is ur currrent situation..u’ll have to accept it ..do the best u can do of wat u are doing..that will b worth everything ur bro is going thru …im sure he’ll appreciate it.. 🙂

  3. thanx (avenger?), but i cant help feelin guilty and impatient. How selfish can one be to turn a blind eye to another persons struggles? I kno the only reward i can giv my bro now is good marks, but ther r things that make me really miserable in college (and thus affects my studies)…tho i hav tried real hard to overcome them…
    my only consolation is that if i took it one day at a time, i would finish the course quickly and b able to contribute….

  4. Thanx di, ive tried telling myself that – cos i believe too that wen the goin gets tuf, the tuf get goin (??)…sadly ther r other dimensions to the prob and the fact that i cant console myself bcos ther r things that r standing in my wat to achieving good grades
    (horror stories i tell ya!)

  5. So, u do nothing, make you bro work hard, and call ME lazy? Hmmmm lol jk jk

    Ok, seriously, wasn’t this the EXACT thing I was talking to you about, only I choose the other path, where I went for something that could help the family (med) instead of doin something I liked more?

    Its a double edged sword, you either have to sacrifice your likings or your loved one’s. You rarely get to have both. Do the best you can at what you are doing. College isn’t always the best meassure of success. Say what you want about his intelligence, but Bush dropped out of college, and went onto to become the leader of the most powerful country in the world (aaah no Not India, the good ole US of A), or Bill Gates, who dropped out of college and is now the richest man in the world. Its isn’t WHAT you do, it is HOW you do it. If you are happy doing what you are doing (other than cooking, please stay away from the kitchen, :D), then do it.

    As far as your bro goes, tell him how much you appreciate his helpings. Men are horrible at signals and metaphors(except me ofcourse, but I’m the best, so don’t judge others by me), so tell him STRAIGHT. I’m sure he’ll be happy.

    And if you feel he is not happy, Buy him an Ipod for Christmas, 😀

  6. *blah
    honey, helpings??
    For once u make sense and i believe this has to be a signal from ur brain sayin – ‘hey i am intelligent…sometimes’ hee hee
    Thanx 🙂

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