Keep it real

This post is so that i dont fall asleep. I am so tired i cus jus fall asleep the min i hit the bed but im tryin not to do that cos i mite fall sick again, jus been thru a bout of indigestion…

Low self-esteem is something that plagues women and girls of this day and age. I admit ive been a victim too. Anorexic at 18, despite bein one of those intelligent women who knows that beauty isnt about how you look and food cant help you solve issues.

I am guilty of two things:

1.Tryin to be one of those women, who are almost perfect (thus bein a search to attain perfection). But perfection according to who? Men? Family? Peer? and resulting in what? Self hate? self-destruction?

2. Using food to relieve stress and to feel better.

See ive been plumpy since i was 13. I don kno wat the circumstances r that led to a sudden gain in weight, i don even think i remember. I was plumpy till i turned one and then lost weight. From 1 to 13 i gained only the normal amt of weight. I remember wearing a pair of jeans for almost eight years because i cud still fit into it. I later gained weight. And then college happened. And so did anorexia. See comin from a convent education and a girls school i did not even kno wat anorexia was. I would go days on end without eating. I once didn eat for three whole days. I lived by this rule: If it cant kill u, it wont hurt you. I would often black out. i was slow, and would take me ten mins to climb stairs cos i had no energy. I lost a lot of weight…. and then gained more. See i would eat once in a while and my body got used to saving up that food cos it didn kno wen it wud get food again. I learnt about anorexia once i was taken to the doctor (because of health problems due to anorexia). I still remem the day i cried cos i didn wanna eat liver fry or spinach my mum had made on special orders of the doc cos i was also anaemic. She took a slipper and hit me (once) cos she was scared i wud die.

See, in school i would use food to make me feel better. I wouldn indulge too much, but i wud get addicted to certain foods like chocostick or hide&seek biscuits so much so that i would eat one packet in a day. Eventually i got myself to kick the habit.

Even tho now-a-days i use exercise to keep fit, i do occassionally find myself binging, wen im too stressed out. I realise i shud stop at a certain point but i get hooked and tell myself jus one more cookie. I use food to feel better jus like cigs do.

And low self-esteem? Well where r the wounds u ask? I kno this has been a tell-all post so far but i cannot reveal too much. What i can say is that sometimes men in ur life also make a big diff. Though dressing up and stuff for men happened way later in my life, i kno it affects women a lot. We dress up for men. What we also do is keep ourselves open to negative thots that cud happen due to this. See my ex was a very cute guy. And i sometimes felt inadequate. But i caught myself before i let it spiral into anything else. I used exercise to feel better.

So let this b a lesson: Dont let the men in your life decide who you are. You decide who you are.

I kno most people look to parents for approval. But dont think you aren worth anything jus because you have not received any positive reinforcements from your family. It gets worse wen u go out into the world, becuse you realise that everybody has a motive, even for showering praise. Maybe the other persons father is the local disctrict commissioner’s daughter (an example), thus people wud praise her, bcos they need to use her. But that doesn mean u aren any good cos u don get approval.

See we all seek attention. Wen you realise that that isn the be all and end all of life and hav a goal to achieve life gets easier. When you seek attention you are more susceptible to bein used.

But the more the world uses women as objects of beauty and puts emphasis on physical appearance things r gonna get worse. We will all suffer the consequences, if not directly, indirectly – through r children. If the episode of oprah show on self esteem is anything to go by, my daughter is gonna b so screwed up! We have kids to leave a legacy, leave r family names, r personality traits, physical traits….but sometimes we pass on more than we intended to.

Dove has started a campaign to help girls in america raise their self-esteem. They are conducting a series of self-esteem workshops, some for mothers and daughters.

Check out the campaign, love the ads.


True colours Ver 1

True Colours Ver 2

Dove Film

Dove UK

This is one song that effectively reflects the message…

TLC- Unpretty


~ by tia on January 22, 2007.

9 Responses to “Keep it real”

  1. beautiful post girl.. 🙂 and loved the ads.. especially the first one.I too like almost everyone grew up with complexes about the way i look…i had buck teeth and thought i was terribly ugly …and now Im told my smile is my best feature!!! Its sad how people (sometimes family) unintentionally cause us to have such low self esteem…..I guess all we can do is to ensure that anyone we know doesnt go thru the same from us at least.
    Thankfully Ive learnt to love myself no matter wat.Its a descision that has changed almost everything.I know that even if no ones around I’ll b there for myself and that the most important thing is that I love myself…I just hope everyone realises that real fast to avoid wasting their lives with negative thoughts…
    This is probably my longest comment ever.. 😉

  2. *Di
    thank u di…thats the greatest gift uve given yourself,girl – lovin yourself. And from that comes true independence and freedom.
    U heard her girls, wat r u waitin for?

  3. Hey… thanks for dropping by at my blog.

    About this post: I agree 100% !! You shouldn’t let others decide what your identity is. The idea is to have self-confidence. If I am plump, then I am happy being plump, and I don’t give a damn about what others say. Short-term solutions don’t work, we must do things the healthy way.

    Here’s wishing you great mental and physical health for the whole of the year to come!

  4. hey,do i know u..saw u linked my bloggy on urs.. so jus came 2 ckh it..blogs damn neat.. like it..
    arrey.. identity.. c evry1 is mutidimensinal..those who care abou wat ohthr thinks about up sacfricin particular dimensions.. in a way..dey giv wat the society wants frm em.. dat wat i mean.. awsome ads haan.. youtubes real kool!

  5. *sudipta
    Ur makin me sound like i am mentally unstable!!lol….
    hmm true i learnt al that thru my experiences…i wrote this post so that others learn from my post…

  6. *Raghu
    Dont remember me??shame on you!hee hee…i stop bloggin on blogspot and u hav forgotten!guess!

  7. i cant the worst sucker at guessin.. the last time i got a guess correct was my bday!

  8. Didn’t I tell you not to go on hunger strikes, and that the best way to lose weight was excersice? And did you listen? Noooooooooooo

    Ok, seriously, a LOT of women have this problem, I know a lot of girls that skip dinner just to avoid putting on weight. Indulging in food is good, because its an inlet for good feelings. You shouldn’t completly avoid foods because then your restricting your natural desires, you should learn to control them. Like Priya, she used to eat nothing for dinner because she didn’t want to get fat, but I told her, that it was just hurting her, and that it wasn’t healthy for her to do it. I even got her into eating some fast foods now, just because its good to have variety. Me personally, I can’t go to sleep hungry. I can’t stay awake hungry either, lol. Shifting your dietary plans on a constant basis has drastic effects on your body. Eat Helthy, but Eat, DON’T starve.

  9. *blah
    u monster!u enemy of waist lines!u got her to eat fastfood??its not healthy!!u idiot…

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